420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through
i’m not even close to sorry
people run “aesthetic blogs” where they just reblog pics of like neon lights and pools of water and weird textures and stuff and i don’t really get it but i like to look at those blogs, it’s nice to know that you guys are out there, always silent, never getting into fights, just reblogging pics of wrinkled plastic bags… keep doing ur thing
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
raise your hand if you have so many ideas that you’re not talented enough for
wake up america
EVERYONE I FOLLOW ARE CUTIES AND EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME ARE CUTIES WOW IF UR READING THIS UR A CUTIE WOWOWOW CUTIES
LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS, MEN WHO DO THIS, AND FEEL FOOLISH
I want this.
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”
WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.